People think manners are just appearances, empty protocols inherited from generations who sipped tea with their pinkies out. Huge mistake. True manners—nowadays—are something entirely different, and if you've made it here after hacking your biology, your finances, your mind, and your time, it's because you're ready to understand something fundamental: when you're truly okay, the way you interact with the world changes dramatically.

Modern life demands new forms of getting along because the rules of the game have completely changed. The superficial courtesy of our grandparents no longer cuts it. We need something deeper, more real, more high frequency.

The Problem with the Traditional Model

The manners we were taught are designed for a world that no longer exists. A world where individuality and competition were supreme values, where showing vulnerability was weakness, and empathy was limited to “putting yourself in someone else's shoes.” That manual became obsolete when we realized that we are profoundly interdependent with each other and with the natural systems that sustain life.

You know what's the most messed up? Most people go through life talking about "empathy" - that facade of understanding that acknowledges other people's emotions, but uses them to manipulate or project a socially acceptable image. It's like those people who ask "how are you?" but are already looking at their phone before you can finish answering.

Fake empathy, this Instagram-friendly courtesy, is ruining our relationships. The more perfect the facade, the more rotten everything is inside. And in an era where we face shared existential challenges—climate crisis, social polarization, epidemic loneliness—this falseness is outright self-destructive.

What self-help books never mention is that when you genuinely heal your inner crap, when you stop living in survival mode, something fundamental changes in your brain. Suddenly, where you once saw an unbearable hater, now you see fear. Where there was a bad vibe person, you detect unresolved traumas. That lady yelling at you in the supermarket stops being "a damn old hag" and becomes someone who clearly seems like no one ever loved them.

This perceptual transformation is vital. It's like putting on new glasses and suddenly seeing the pain of others in high definition. And when that happens, pals, you can't keep interacting in the same way.

New manners are born from this understanding: we're all messed up in some way, we all carry untold stories, we all need more compassion than we receive. The difference is, some of us have done the internal work to process our trash, while others continue projecting it.

High Frequency: Beyond New Age

When I talk about "high frequency" I'm not referring to the new age concept of cosmic vibrations or healing crystals. I'm talking about a state of consciousness and behavior that naturally emerges when you've reached a certain internal equilibrium. It's the difference between acting out of fear or emotional abundance.

Manners are radically different from traditional etiquette. They go beyond knowing which fork to use or how to greet in a business meeting. They're ways of relating that acknowledge our shared humanity without falling into toxic goodness.

For example: authenticity. In the traditional world, being authentic meant "saying things as they are" without a filter, confusing sincerity with cruelty. In our guide, above ALL, authenticity means being genuine without wielding your truth as a weapon. It's being able to say "this bothers me" without needing to destroy the other person in the process.

We've talked about this infinitely in this guide. It has never been easier to communicate, yet never harder to understand each other. Social media, which promised to bring us closer, created echo chambers where we only interact with those who think like us.

And here we are: a whole generation that doesn't know how to have tough conversations, that confuses vulnerability with oversharing, that practices cancel culture over dialogue. A generation that urgently needs new manners to navigate the complexity of the present.

Why This Matters (Even If You Think It Doesn't)

If you've come this far in your personal hacking process, if you've already mastered your biology, your finances, your mind, and your time, you might think you've made it. That you don't need to worry about how you relate to others, because you feel elevated. Big mistake.

Individual well-being without genuine social connection is a Pyrrhic victory. You could have all the money in the world, the body of a Greek god, and the mind of a Zen monk, but if you don't know how to build authentic bonds, if you can't navigate the emotional complexity of human relationships, you're condemned to a sophisticated form of loneliness.

The new manners are the missing piece in the puzzle of integral well-being. They're the bridge between your personal transformation and your impact on the world. Because, seriously: what's the point of being well if you can't share that well-being? What's the use of enlightenment if you can't connect with those still in the dark?

In my case, I can't stand people who feel enlightened, yet the only thing that glows is their ego and cheap sense of superiority.

This chapter we're starting will be a so-called Carreño manual of the 21st century. A manual that recognizes manners are no longer about seeming educated, but about being human. That understands empty courtesy is as damaging as explicit rudeness. That knows in times of civilizational crisis, the way we treat each other can mean the difference between collapse and transformation. After all, we're all on this same ship called Earth, navigating turbulent waters. The only way to reach safe harbor is by learning to row together, each from their own strength but synchronized in movement.

Welcome to the art of relating in the Anthropocene.